2nd post of da day.. sigh.. i feel dat i juz have 2 write out how i feel..for da past 3 weeks i feel very very helpless.. i keep on wondering 4 da last 3 weeks.. why am i always alone?? I seem 2 always be alone... i can't get decent frens in college.. my class only got 9 ppl wei.. then whenever i feel like goin out 4 movies.. i can't find ppl 2 watch wif me.. i dunno.. i juz feel like i dun have frens at all.. i've been going out wif da same few persons over n over again.. i seem 2 have lost all my other frens. Right now, even wif da ones closest 2 me... i can sense dat there is already a gap between us all.. we don't seem 2 be close like before..maybe its juz me.. i mean everone seems 2 have a group of ppl 2 go out wif.. but me? Nope.. i don't have 1.. i would always hang out wif 1 person at a time or juz go out all by mself.. i am feeling really really emotionally stressed out..
Wanted 2 go play basketball 2 temporary 4get da problems.. but can't find kaki 2 play.. But i sort of got use 2 it dy.. can't really find anyone 2 do anything nowadays.. I am really JEALOUS of everyone else now.. Really tired lar.. tired of acting like i am happy in front of everbody.. especially my parents, i nvr wanted them 2 worry bout me as they always seem 2 have problem of their own. They always give everything they have 2 me n my siblings and they are alway so frugal to their own needs, so i always put on a jovial face in front of them.. to them i am always happy,nvr have problems.. i juz can't let them worry bout me..
Peer Pressure= SIN... I am surrounded by sin!!! Have 2 fight on!!! Can't fall into sin again!!
Lord!! HELP ME!!! Not only sin, It is also against my own believes!! So i HAVE TO FIGHT ON!!
Gonna stay away!! ( can't really tell u wat it is)
I guess in da end i really miss my st john's life..goin movies after school.. sigh.. those were da days.. Now.. i seem 2 be making wrong decisions evertime..from goin Tar college 2 shifting 2 Segi kl.. seemingly.. i juz dun feel quite at ease at these colleges..
OWH!! Why is dis always happening!! I've always felt like i should be at college like taylor's or sunway... but wat 2 do? my families finance is not always pleasing.. 4 parent's sake go cheaper colleges lo.. This is da worries of a filial son.. All i want 2 do now is hurry up and finish my studies n start working my ass off and help ease my parent's burden.. Guess i can't help it but 2 hang in there... 1 year only mah!! been tellin myself dat.. Then hopefully can find a college dat really really suits me n get on wif my degree programme..
Haihzz.. hopefully i can get pass dis period of depression soon.. i am haging now on faith only le.. My only person 2 speak wif of my problem is GOD... so i fully believe dat God would help me and solve my problems 4 me.. I HAVE FAITH!! So if YOU noticed i am not actin like usual dis few weeks.. dis is why. (Wow!! i wrote an essay.. haha long time nvr write dy.. i even differentiate wif colours)
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